i wonder.
if you're lucky the day you win the lottery, does that mean you're unlucky every normal day of your life?
i understand that everyone is lucky in some sense of the word. lucky i'm not homeless, lucky i have a family that loves me, lucky i'm not brain dead. but what if we're approaching this luck thing all wrong? where it isn't just about millions of dollars or the capacity to breathe without the aid of a machine pump.
curiouser and curiouser.
if you approach this whole thing we call life believing nothing is coincidence, then we never have to be grateful for anything do we? but if we think everything is chaos then we never have to try.
of course like a good mixed drink life is all about a good balance of fate and chance. neutrality.
i think that's what people try to achieve. everyone wants to control everything but no one wants to take the blame. we're each little napoleons.. our egos are homonculi pursuing world domination whilst cowering in a corner. i see us all clicking and clacking around in our plastic hamster bubbles.. clawing at the clear view of each other... occasionally reaching the top of the pile, but always, ALWAYS bouncing back to earth with jarring and unfettered descent. a pure fall. we're all such idiots.
i had a glow in the dark hamster ball once. for my pet, not myself. interesting that it still ran like hell even though it couldn't perceive a place to run towards.. just glowing plastic met with glimpses of darkness. maybe they just like the fresh plastic breeze.
so today sucked. i'm pretty much in hate with everyone. i feel like a poo. and not one of those cute tamagachi poos. i mean the poo you come across in the forest that can't even hold its own form and you wonder how long it'll take the creature that laid me to track you down for lunch.
no i haven't graduated. yes i'm going to school with a bunch of slacker 18 year olds. yes my IQ has probably dropped a couple dozen points. no it doesn't matter at community college.
you know, i didn't realize that the average IQ was 100.
that's how stupid i am. i didn't even realize how potentially smart i was.
but isn't that how the story of humanity goes?
