um

i really don't know what i'm doing most of the time. i'm impulsive, stubborn, and worst of all a little careless. sometimes it's a plus because my spontaneity, daring, passion, and even my klutziness will make for the most memorable moments of my life. unfortunately, i'm usually pretty reclusive because i've encountered the many problems that can come from these troubling personality traits, which just leads me down a spiraling path of depression.

so i don't really have to ask why i'm single. it's pretty apparent to me. i'm terrified, of everyone and everything. i'm completely afraid to make a huge mistake and actually care about someone and maybe get a little hurt. i don't like myself so i don't put myself out there, and when i do it becomes really apparent that i think badly of myself.

i can blame it on my upbringing and some of the traumatizing events of my past, but i can't blame anyone else but myself for continuing on in this fashion.